Resolve rating 100%

Had a really positive day so far tackling my to do list which is making me feel good. I am not getting many comments on this blog, although people do at least seem to be viewing it. Normally with posting stuff online I don’t care about this kind of thing but obviously the idea of doing this kind of recovery work online is to share your recovery journey with others, interact and hopefully boost your resolve rating as a result. For this reason I am also going to now post this blog on my own page which I am going to sort out as part of my recovery today. I am also going to spend some time offering responses and encouragement to other people who are sharing their journey of recovery from sexual addiction on blogs and forums. You have to give to get after all!

Another sober day so far, with plenty planned to keep me busy so confident I will be sober all day. Best wishes to all!

Resolve Rating 100%

I didn’t make an entry in this yesterday which is really bad. I did have a sober day yesterday and another sober day today though. I was busy yesterday, and have been busy recently with hobbies and general stuff that needs to be done which is good in terms of sobriety. I need to make my recovery work the absolute priority though. Only things that should come before 20 mins recovery work every day are absolutely essential things like sleeping and eating.

I’ve had a really positive day doing a task that needed to be done, going out for a walk on my local high street and also….resting! Yes it’s important to rest and thankfully I have been able to chill out today. Watching some TV and lying in bed listening to some music. Might seem boring but it’s a really positive and important thing to do as part of your weekly and even daily routine.

One thing I’ve been slacking on is “getting up practice” so it’s important I get back to that. As part of further recovery work I plan to do today, I intend to listen to some audio/podcasts on sexual addiction recovery. I hope for another sober day tomorrow!

Well, I failed to make an entry yesterday and guess what – today I acted out. Very disappointed in myself. I was feeling very tempted last night, and was already in the “sex trance” as it’s called in the cycle of sexual addiction. Even feeling that way, if I had forced myself to come on here and make a recovery diary entry it might have helped me veer away from temptation today.

One thing I’ve had in my “back pocket” in terms of stopping this addiction is going to 12 step meetings in person, getting a sponsor etc. If I act out one more time during 2016 then I am definitely going to start going to these meetings, it’s no longer something in my back pocket as a last resort – it’s now the next resort. Ideally I didn’t want it to come to that but that is now on the line.

In terms of what triggered me, I think it was just a general build up of stress & boredom over the week at work. Feeling confused about a few matters. General depression making me feel little day to day issues are mountains rather than mole hills. Ideally I wouldn’t have to go to work but at the moment it’s a necessity so I really need to work hard at my recovery work and not let work force me to act out. I don’t want to go into details but my home situation isn’t ideal in terms of who I live with. Ideally I would like to live alone, but financially that isn’t an option at the moment. Well it is in a way, but it would be a lot more expensive and whilst I expect I would be happier outside work (although this isn’t guaranteed) I would be under a lot more stress in general (particularly at work). It’s not that I actively dislike who I live with, but sometimes after work I just want my own space with no one talking to me or getting in my space. Sometimes it all builds up and the discord triggers me into acting out as some kind of relief.

Anyway, hopefully I can continue working hard at recovery and the big change is that going to 12 step meetings in person is round the corner if I can’t stay sober from this point on.

RR 99%

I am grateful and proud for another sober day! Did some solid thinking at work and made some notes about keeping things like work and money in perspective. This is important in my recovery diary because work is the number 1 thing in my life that causes the discord that leads to me acting out. So it’s important I stay on top of it.

Chilled out evening watching TV shows and some sport which helped me feel relaxed after work. As part of my recovery work today I am going to read some more of the book I’m reading on sexual addiction and watch a positive video on youtube about recovering from sexual addiction.

Resolve Rating 99%

Another sober day So 7 days of sobriety since my last relapse. Also, I haven’t watched porn or nudity for 21 days now. As expected I’m feeling much more refreshed today. Work kicks back in tomorrow which is going to take up my energy so I really need to focus on keeping up with my recovery work every day this week.

As part of my recovery work today I have been reading information on the internet about sexual addiction. I am now going to read a bit more of the book I am reading on this topic. Recently the other good thing I have been doing is lifting weights every day and doing “getting up” practice. The latter I have slacked on a bit over the last few days. The latter involves pretending to go to bed and then getting up a few minutes later, doing this repeatedly in sets which then helps you not snooze when you get up for real in the morning. I aim to do 3 of these sets everyday and I need to keep this up along with lifting weights.